December 04, 2002
007 and My Own Stunts.

So I went to see the new James Bond tonight. Ms. Berry was terrible. I didn't really like the film. It was entertaining, most of it was more than un plausible. You know kids these days though. It seems most of them either don't understand "science" or don't want to, or just plain don't give a rats ass.

On my way to the movie. (I decided to take a mini-bike to get some exercise and save myself the $2 fare downtown and the $2 fare back).

I was headed along Granville Bridge when my pant leg got caught in the front sprocket, between the chain and the gear. No problem I thought, I stopped and then remembered. On a kids bmx, you can't peddle backwards (as this just locks the rear tire) to undo this mess, so I had to peddle forwards (or rip my pants) to get out of this mess.

Crisis averted. So now, I'm headed down the bridge towards the Seymour exit. I hit a small bump and the chain comes off. No problem I think to myself. I'm almost there; I'm going down-hill so I won't need to peddle for a while and I can fix it when I stop.

... stop... RIGHT! See earlier statement (no chain == no brakes).

Panic doesn't start to set in, until I actually hit Drake. I realize I'm going quite fast and that there is a red-light. .

No problem! Drag your foot. I'm used to this from roller-blading. :)

Fix chain, get back on, crisis averted!

Heading through Davie (on Seymour), peddle fast to make it through the light, when all of a sudden I managed to perform one of the most elegant maneuvers on a two-wheeled vehicle. Yes, that's right, a wonderfully performed aerial. (No hands-summer-saults). Free from the toils of gravity I watched as the bike became air-borne above me. Flying like myself in a bird-like fashion.

This brief moment in time was shattered relatively abruptly, like waking up to a fire-alarm. My body slams into the ground and the bike slams into me. Some guy on the street corner talking into his cell phone manages to yell out to me. "Are you ok?".

Well I guess I could say at that point, I will "Die Another Day".

aerials comleted: 1 full rotation of 180 degrees, hight about 4 feet. (no insane stunt bonus)
Injuries: Flapper on tip of right ring finger. Small cut on right palm. Huge bruise to the left kidneys. (I think the handle-bars got me here)
Damage: Bike: none, but needs chain tightening. Clothes and other belongings: none.


Posted by cjones at December 04, 2002 03:33 AM

me fail english? that's unplausible!

sorry, i'm not trying to be an ass, but that's funny.

Posted by: ben on December 4, 2002 08:16 AM

wooohoo! you finally made it into the club, j. we welcome you heartily and wish all the best on your future smallbike-induced self-mutilating endeavours.

Posted by: r. on December 4, 2002 10:48 AM

ben, correction noted. should be "im"plausible

i'll leave the error intact for other people to giggle at.


Posted by: drj on December 4, 2002 06:24 PM

you better not have been wearing my army pants.

Posted by: beth on December 4, 2002 08:57 PM
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