The scumbags at MBNA Canada seem to think I'm some guy named Wally who owes them money. Soon after I moved in and got a telephone line from Telus, I started getting messages on my answering machine from an MBNA auto-dialer leaving no information except a phone number and hours of business.
Out of curiosity, I called them to find out why they were calling. The operator asked for my last name to check against their records, but I refused and told him to just look up the phone number. He seemed personally offended that I didn't trust him, a complete stranger from a company I'd never heard of, with my personal information. He looked up the number and said there were a bunch of names associated with it (Telus has no doubt assigned the number to many apartment dwellers over the past few years), so he asked for my name again so that he could narrow it down. Forget it, buddy. I've never done business with your company (apparently, they issue MasterCards, which I don't have), so update your records. This number doesn't belong to your deadbeat customer any more. He wasn't at all happy with that.
So I got a couple more calls from their phonebot and called them back in frustration.
MBNA jerk: "Is this Wally?"
Me: "Nope."
MBNAJ: "Do you even know a Wally?"
Me: "Nope."
MBNAJ: "So you're saying we've got the wrong number."
Me: "Yep."
MBNAJ: "Sorry about that. I'll update our records."
I thought that was the end of it, but a third MBNA jerk called me last night asking for Wally. This time I got a little angry and told him that, for the third time, there is no Wally here. He apologized, but said it takes four months for names to be removed from the database. (Note to self: thank God I followed my Schneier-inspired practical paranoia and didn't give them my name last time.) That's disgusting, I said. Call Telus. They'll tell you the number was reassigned. I'll never do business with your company. Don't ever call me again.
Sadly, I'm pretty sure they'll call again and there's not much I can do about it. Damned Big Brother companies have too much power and basically no accountability.
Posted by tim at November 15, 2003 01:39 PMThe next time they call, I suggest you tell them to try (613) 742-4800, which is their head office in Ottawa. See how they like it when that number gets in their "database."
Posted by: evan on November 16, 2003 02:18 PMwe could always firebomb their vancouver office. they'll probably keep calling, but you can rest easy with the knowledge that you're as much of a pain in the ass to them as they are to you. or start your own wardialer and set it to call their head office whenever you're not home.
Posted by: r. on November 19, 2003 11:04 AM