Invincible

Likeable Mark Wahlberg joins the NFL. Lots of crunching sounds. Greg Kinnear is good as usual.

Crank

I’m sure this was pitched as “Speed without the bus”. Jason Statham is poisoned and has to rampage through the rest of the movie, keeping his adrenaline up so his heart won’t stop. Ridiculously stupid but completely entertaining.

What Means Motley?

A struggling Irish conman and his Romanian friend try to smuggle 41 Romanians to Ireland by having them pose as a gypsy choir. Not one of them can sing or play an instrument, though, and both a French gangster and the gypsy mafia want a cut of the smuggling fee. Very funny. Strangely enough, it’s based on a real incident. Barry Mulligan, who stars as Mickey the con, was in 1999 the honorary Irish consul who issued visas to the “choir”.

Celebration

A study of the Disney-built town Celebration, Florida. It was interesting to see what it looks like. Despite being limited to six architectural styles, the houses are far less cookie-cutter than most subdivisions. The residents interviewed talk about why they moved there, living in such a controlled (but safe) environment, and, for some, why they left. The film itself is very distracting: staged scenes where someone turns from some task to talk directly to the camera; slow 360-degree pans while people stand around awkwardly; and uncomfortably long shots of park paths.

The Last Western

Another fake town: Pioneertown, California was built as a set by Gene Autry and Roy Rogers for westerns in the 40s and 50s. After Hollywood left, it was settled by drifters, motorcycle gangs, eccentrics, and drunks. Very good.

Linda Linda Linda

Four girls at a Japanese high school rush to get their band ready for a Korean-Japanese cultural exchange. After a previous version of the band splits, the guitarist recruits a Korean exchange student—-who can barely speak Japanese—-to be the singer. Relaxed, funny, and natural. Insanely catchy music by Japanese punks The Blue Hearts.

Gridiron Gang

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson forms a football team of juvenile delinquents. A generic but solid sports movie, it’s another satisfying Rock-based movie.

Fearless

Jet Li beats people up so they’ll respect China. Best slow-motion hair-washing scene this year.

Stick It

BMX-riding alternagirl gets sent back to gymnastics school (run by Jeff Bridges!) to repent for massive and x-treme property damage. It’s no Bring It On—despite sharing a writer, who also directed—but it’s still pretty funny. There are some nice composite shots of five gymnasts on the uneven bars at the same time.

Keeping up with Cathy Jones

The life and times of Codco and This Hour Has 22 Minutes star Cathy Jones. Very funny.

Hard Rock and Water

Author Lisa Moore compares two Atlantic islands: Newfoundland and Iceland. In 1944, Iceland voted to separate from Denmark and become its own nation. Five years later, Newfoundland voted to join Canada. In Moore’s opinion, independence made Iceland prosper while Newfoundland suffered under a far-away government that had little interest in fishing. Almost everyone who appears in the film, on both islands, agrees with her, which makes it feel awfully one-sided. Still, it makes a lot of good points about localized government and the importance of pride and responsibility in a community. It’s great to look at, too; the scenery is fantastic.

The Protector

Tony Jaa really loves elephants. Also, kneeing people in the chest. The North American release was cut so severely it plays like they made the movie up as they filmed it. Which is fine, because what they made up is awesome. There’s an amazing steadicam scene where Jaa double dragons his way to the top of a multi-level club. Later, he breaks fifty arms and legs in a row.

Family Guy Presents: Stewie Griffin - The Untold Story

Like the show, only longer.

30 September 2006